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Sunday, February 26, 2012

Chicken Beef

For those of you who know our family, you know that we strongly believe in lying to our kids.  Yep, we'd lie to them all the time when it came to food.  They would never, not ever, not even once, not even for a million dollars (or candy bars, chips, suckers, etc), absolutely would not let a bite of meatloaf pass through their lips.  But, if I served a "giant sliced meatball" for dinner they would eat like a high school football team.  I would never dream of serving baked beans with our hot dogs or hamburgers, but the kids would ask for 2 spoons of the jelly beans in sauce.  And for lunch do NOT serve them a ham or turkey sandwich.  I guarantee you, they will not eat it.  BUT if you serve them the pink or white salami they will eat like there is no tomorrow.  Yep, I frimly believe that lying to our children has made them fairly easy to cook for.

Now, for a year or two we'd get all of our beef from a neighbor down the road.  "Farmer Joe" had chickens, llamas, pigs, goats and cows.  The kids would go and visit the animals from time to time and Katie began to really like cows.  She loved their big brown eyes that always looked friendly and their funny tails that would always whip around.  Not a huge problem unless you have a child that really enjoys the flavor of beef but does not want to eat a cow because they are so nice.

Katie told us one day that she wouldn't eat cow anymore, but she still wanted to eat beef.  We'd make a steak or roast and if she thought it came from a cow she would NOT eat it (or at least just one or two bites, after all a girl has to eat!). 

Enter the lying parent.  So here we are with a freezer full of beef and a girl who won't eat anything that came from a cow.  Good thing we have such an amazing farmer just down the road.  "Farmer Joe" created a new animal JUST FOR KATIE!  Now, in addition to the beef that came from cows that he had become accustomed to raising, he started on a new venture.....Chicken Beef!!

Yep, that would be the kind of beef that comes from chickens, not cows.  Katie had no aversion to eating meat from a chicken.  After all, those beady eyed little buggers do nothing but chase you around and peck at the ground.  Eating a chicken was fair game.

There is something absolutely amazing about that beef that comes from chickens.  It has the same texture, color and flavor as the beef that comes from cows.  If you came to dinner you'd never be able to tell the difference between the two.  And you may even give us a strange look across the table when you were told (by Katie) that you were actually eating chicken beef, not cow beef.

Things went pretty well for a while.  We were able to keep our little secret hidden until we went to dinner at Grandma's house one evening.  We were having a beef roast and before we could fill anyone in on the chicken beef Katie asked Grandma where she got her roast.  Luckily for us Grandma answered "From the store."  That gave us just enough time to come in and save dinner.  Katie followed up asking if the store Grandma shopped at had chicken beef or cow beef.  Just as Grandma began to answer the quesiton to her best ability we told Katie that Farmer Joe made a deal with Grandma's grocery store and he was now supplying them with his beef.  We assured her Grandma got the very same kind of beef from Farmer Joe that we had at home.

After the meal was saved from the brink of ruin we settled in and enjoyed our dinner.  Once the kitchen was cleaned up we were able to inform Grandma and Grandpa about the special arrangement we have with our neighbor to provide us with his special 'chicken beef' and explained why.

After a few years, and a few visits to the County 4-H fair, Katie realized that all beef comes from cows.  By that time her ability to enjoy a good steak far outweighed her love of those big brown eyes and that funny tail.  She told us 'It is okay to eat cow beef because it comes from old cows.  They aren't nearly as cute as the baby cows.  And if we eat the old cows Farmer Joe can get more babies!'

Farmer Joe no longer raises the beef for us, but we are greatful for those years of producing that interesting creature known as the chicken beef.  Thanks to him we can now enjoy a good hamburger without being worried about hurting someone's delicate feelings.

1 comment:

Beanie said...

hmm we'll have to debate the species on our farm :)